Hey there, fellow bike rider! I have a request.

Can you maybe try not to be so stupid/unsafe/dickish, just a little, and maybe not fuck things up for the rest of us who know what we're doing?

I'm not talking to you, bike messengers; you know what you're doing and you do it the right way, because you're well aware that your health and (here's the important part) the health of others depends on you doing so. I'm not talking to you folks who commute on a bike daily and do the little things, like adhering at least slightly to the rules of the road, staying off sidewalks whenever possible (as it turns out, some people like to just walk on them!), dressing with some common sense; you know, stuff like that.

You know who you are, fellow bike rider. And you know you can do better.

Today's example: I was driving down Harriet (sometimes I drive, like when I'm running errands and want a little more than the space in my bag and my back strength in terms of hauling capacity) - if you aren't familiar with it, Harriet is a little one-way street here in Minneapolis. In the winter, it becomes effectively half its normal width, due to snow and ice accumulation forcing cars to park progressively farther away from the curbs as Winter moves along. By this point, there's rarely more than about 6 feet of space on either side of cars traveling down the street. So there I am, tooling down this narrow corridor, when I spy a fellow bike rider coming towards me, going the wrong way.

Now, since I ride myself, I'm overly courteous to riders when I drive. Accordingly, I shifted as far to the right as possible so the rider would have some room to get by. The thing is, this street was pretty icy; big patches of ice, all over the place. So I couldn't help but wonder how wise it was to ride against traffic on an iced-up little one-way (thanks, Paul!) when there's a street going the way you want to go just one block West, as I continued to tightrope along the right side of the street, flirting side mirror disaster as I went along. As he passed me, he lost his grip a little and had to steady himself by dragging a foot. He also gave me the stinkeye, as if he was disgusted with the gall I was displaying by driving the right way down a one-way street. Sure; that makes all sorts of sense and isn't at all dickish.

Honest, folks; most of us are perfectly nice, sane people. We aren't interested in getting in your way or otherwise molesting your peaceful progress through the day. As long as you are kind enough to refrain from, you know, running us over and stuff, we're easy to get along with.

As for the rest of you, work on that shit, okay? Good talk.