Gah! The White Death Approaches!

It's supposed to snow this weekend here in Minny. A lot. So of course everyone's totally wigging out over it - you'd think this was effin' Florida or something, instead of the upper Midwest, where - shocking enough - we get snow every year. I suppose if I wanted to be fair, I could admit that we really haven't had too much this year, but I don't want to be fair. Suck it up, you bunch of training-bra-wearing pansies; it's just snow.

However, to show we care, the HSO has put together a little plan for you all - call it a recommendation for how to survive this weekend's impending doom.

This evening, before it really gets going, go out and stock up on the essentials. Get plenty of tasty, comforting food - that acne-prone Dominos delivery kid doesn't want to be out driving in this shit any more than you do. If you enjoy your drink, as I do, make sure you have plenty of that, as well. If you're a movie lover, go rent a bunch of those - if you can generally amuse yourself with something you find channel-hopping (like me), you can skip this step.

If you've got a special guy or gal, invite them over (or go over to their place, whichever is most comfortable), and do what people have done for ages when they're faced with good sock-in of a snowstorm - do lots of baby-makin'. If, like me, you're a no-love-havin' loser... well, there really isn't a good substitute for that, so we're just going to have to deal with it - sorry.

Finally, at some point when it's really coming down, bundle yourself up and go for a walk - enjoy it. Maybe even take some pictures.

I promise you, dear readers, we'll make it through this meteorological calamity. Honest.