Sláinte, y'all.

It's St. Patrick's day, once again - and as always, we at the HSO are here to help.

First, here are a couple helpful St. Patrick's Day-related words and phrases in gaelic, along with a little pronunciation help; use 'em tonight at the pub, and impress your friends (or that lovely red-haired lass you've got your lecherous eye on):

St. Patrick's Day: "Lá Fhéile Pádraig" (law ae-leh paw-rig)

A pint of Guinness, please.: "Pionta Guinness, le do thoil." (pyunta Guinness leh duh hull)

Since lots of folks seem to enjoy thinking they might themselves be Irish on this day, (EDITOR'S NOTE: We originally linked to a "How Irish are you?" quiz here, but after taking the quiz ourselves and discovering that it's nothing more than a stupid SPAM fest, we're removing the link - feck those feckin' gobshites.)

Finally, do us all a favor and try not make too big an ass out of yourself; there are few things more depressing than the sight of some non-Irish lightweights proving without a doubt that they can't hold their liquor. It's a holiday, not amateur night - try to have a little self-respect, please.

Cheers, folks - enjoy some good craic and think of us Micks fondly on this, our special day.